How Quickly Should I Move in This New Relationship with a Man?
Moving too quickly in a new relationship can, sadly, end the relationship. Of course, not moving quickly enough, and incorrectly assuming that things will run their own satisfactory course, will not help a relationship either. The bottom line is that pacing is a very important issue in a new relationship, and not always an easy one to figure out.
The first step in determining how quickly to move -- that means everything from how quickly the words "I love you" should be said to how soon marriage is proposed -- has to be taken inside of your own heart and mind. Are you sure you want this relationship to proceed at all? The biggest danger in moving too quickly, besides scaring off what might be the man of your dreams, is to enter into something you find out only weeks later that you yourself do not want after all. It is much easier to get out of something in the earlier stages, than it is to extricate yourself months in, or even, heaven forbid, just before you are to stand at the alter! So, you need to decide if you are sure about this man.
Once you are sure, you need to read his heart and mind. This is easily done by observing his words and actions in the first stages of the relationship and letting your own heart, mind, and intuition do the rest. Does he want the same things you do, like the place or preferred activities on your first date? Has he spoken of wanting to marry quickly, or has he said several times that marriage is something he is scared of? Does he change the subject every time you bring up children, or does he smile widely, thrilled at the thought of bouncing babies on his knee? These are the sorts of things you need to take into account when reading what he wants.
If every indication is that your new man wants to move into a more permanent relationship situation, and, of course, if this is what you desire as well, then this is a good sign that you can move as quickly as possible! Why wait when you have found your soul-mate? There is no need to do so, as long as you are both sure. This does not mean that you need to start pressuring him for a proposal, but it does mean that you can drop hints that you are ready for these things, make sure he knows that you love him and want to be with him, and give him the other important signs that you are wanting the same things he does.
If, however, it is clear that he does seem to like you, but that he might need more time to figure things out, then give him that space! It is one thing if you determine that he will never, ever want to marry -- if that is the case, it is time to leave now! But if he just takes his time, well, this can be a very desirable quality in a mate. It means he wants to be sure, and when he is sure, he will be loyal and steadfast in his love and commitment for you. In this case, be sure he knows that you want to be with him, and that you consider him to be worth waiting for. Do not wait forever, and be sure he understands that you will not wait for the rest of your life. But give him the time and space he needs -- your patience will almost certainly pay off in the long run.
PolishWomen.com